Halloween Week 2010

Anna definitely made use of her Halloween costume this year. Thankfully she loved it, so she was all smiles every time she dressed up. Here are a few of my favorite Halloween week photos.

Trick-or-treating at Daddy's office on a very windy Wednesday afternoon, followed by dinner out in downtown Ann Arbor.

Swinging at the Cravens' Halloween party Saturday evening.

Pumpkin carving outside this afternoon with a fire, a couple of drinks, and a very ambitious Daddy.

Anna and I loved our simple happy-face pumpkin.

Posing for photos with the finished product...admiring her pumpkin.

Love the hands in the pockets here.

The best smile ever!

I couldn't get a smile on our way out the door...she was too anxious to get some treats. In the end, she also enjoyed giving out the treats.

And, of all the Halloween highlights, this may have been the brightest. Just a few houses down, this huge collie gave out candy. Anna actually hugged him and repeatedly exclaimed, "That's a pretty cool doggie!" She wanted to stay there all night long.

Petting the Collie for the 100th time.

Surprise Yourself

I hustled out of the house this morning for an 8:00am Bikram Yoga class in Ann Arbor. It's been at least three years since I stepped into the studio; I felt energized just thinking about an actual yoga class (as opposed to sprawling out in my family room alone). And, I felt nervous. Would I be able to handle the intense heat of the room? Would I be able to do the poses?

I relished the ninety minutes of stretching, breathing, strength-building, focusing, and most of all, sweating. I'd forgotten just how therapeutic it feels. The warmth of the room loosened my tense neck and lower back muscles. I still can't believe how I've been living with the soreness - being there, remembering how it used to feel and noticing how it felt different now, made me realize how out of alignment my spine is. Nonetheless, I was strong and flexible, and I could do so much more than I expected. I don't quite understand it, but I effortlessly pulled out some poses now that I couldn't do years ago.

It felt empowering to be so connected to my body this morning. I was surprised by what my body could do, and the surprise itself felt good. I think I'll try to surprise myself more often.

****

On a different, but similar note...I loved Penny's idea to keep my old sweatshirt as a dress up option for Anna. If she loves it, we'll keep it. If not, maybe I'll repurpose it somehow (I do have a sewing machine, after all). It surprised me that I hadn't considered other options like this. Sometimes we need a little help to think outside of the storage (or donation) box, I guess! Thank you!

Skit Skat

I don't know where Mo D learned this little chant - she taught it to me a long, long time ago. Now, Anna has learned it. The other night in the bathtub, she surprised us by reciting it all by herself.

In case it's not clear (and it won't be, I'm sure)...

Skit skat skoop skop skee bum dee bo

A ratatoota-boobopindee-beebopindee-bo

Skitin skatin skidily idily o

That Something

Last spring I posted a few entries about giving after reading the book 29 Gifts. As I was pulling out clothes for Goodwill today, I was remembering how I said I want to give something away that I don't feel I can part with. It has been in the back of my mind since that time, but I haven't found That Something that seems just right. While it's not glamorous, I think I found the old sweatshirt that fits this description.

I've had vivid dreams the last few days; the past is the present, even for a few brief moments when I wake in the morning. I feel like my subconscious is working overtime, processing something. Maybe that something is the same thing that inspired me to sit in the closet and rifle through old clothes for the 90 minutes I had to myself today while Katie was here to play with Anna. I've been planning to clean out the closets since May, when I wondered if That Something that I don't feel I can part with might be on one of the racks: "Maybe it'll be one of the many items of clothing I've stashed away for no other reason that it's tough to let go of the past sometimes."

When I stumbled across my oversized forest green Polo sweatshirt in the plastic storage bin under my bed, I moved it aside to pull out a different shirt for Goodwill. Then I questioned myself. Why keep it? It hasn't been worn in years. Yet, it was a struggle to pull it out and let it go, I'm guessing because of the memories it holds. It may have been purchased in 7th grade, and was certainly in my possession by the time I was 14. It was there on my 15th birthday when my crazy friends somehow hired a male exotic dancer to come to one of their homes (yes, her mother was home) to dance with me. It was there in an outhouse behind a shack in the Australian bush when I was 21 (I have the photo to prove it). It's still here, at least 20 years (20 YEARS!) old, taking up space under my bed in a plastic storage bin. I think it's time to let it go.

I was feeling confident that giving it away would be a good move for me (maybe even for somebody else looking for a comfy old sweatshirt). I'm letting go of the past, making more room for the present and future. Then Blake offered his opinion. He likes the sweatshirt. I should save it because it has so many memories associated with it. It looks comfortable. He's not doing wonders for my resolve.

What do YOU do? Do you hold onto old stuff for sentimental reasons or let it go when it's just taking up space?

Weekend with Papa and Mo J

We visited Mo and Papa J this weekend, and Anna, of course, had a blast. She loved spending time with Mo and Papa, swinging on the neighbor's climber, and above all, playing with the newfound balls at their house (I think her recent love - more appropriately her obsession - with balls deserves a post soon).

Loving the swing...Papa pushed her fast!

Peek.

Tentative...but only for a minute.

Sitting with the neighbor girl, Kaylee, and her friend, Madeline.

And, the balls...she had to hold them ALL, all by herself. She uses her chin regularly now to carry extra balls around. Notice there's one stuffed underneath her shirt.

Sixteen Years

October 18, 2009

Last night I met a new old friend for drinks in Depot Town. We talked for hours as if it hadn't been sixteen years since we'd seen each other, as if we'd been best of friends in high school. We spoke of relationships, kids, aging parents, our strengths and weaknesses...substantive stuff that made me ponder the passage of time, how we cycle through it, how it changes our perception of things, and how it leaves some things untouched.

My wonderful evening was followed by a relatively wonderful night's sleep. Anna woke at 5:20am, but with a little coaxing she was out again until 7:20. We felt a renewed sense of energy today. The bright blue skies beckoned Anna and I outside after a relaxing AND productive morning (we snuggled on the couch to watch Elmo together AND we put away laundry, among other things). The scattered crimson leaves needed raking, so we went to work with the only real objective being a satisfying jump into the pile.

Hard at work with her rake.

Just a great smile.

Running.

"It's too bright!"

Love this look.

As we raked, Anna with her rake and me with mine, I vividly remembered a similar day last year spent outside. The air was crisp and the sky cloudless. The most brilliant of our four trees was at its peak, almost a neon pinky red. These things felt exactly the same today. My experience, on the other hand, felt different. Anna and I worked together. This year, she was not only walking, but also raking, running, and jumping. Last year, she sat and maybe crawled through the leaves. This year we conversed about the new dog friend we just made and laughed as we messed up our piles. Last year, her vocabulary was just beginning to include the word pumpkin. Last year, I could hardly imagine what it might be like this year.

I suppose it's not surprising that I get teary when I look at the photos from that time and wonder how a whole year has passed so quickly. I notice the exponential changes in her and recognize that sixteen years will pass in the blink of an eye...and I hope we'll be outside on an identical day in October relishing new old times together, ones that I can barely imagine now.

November 7, 2009.

Zombie

In the last week Anna has slept through the night only twice - well, maybe three times, but I don't count finally falling asleep at 9:00pm and waking at 5:20am as a full night of rest. When she wakes, she is often awake for 2-3 hours, tossing and turning in her bed, unable to get herself back to sleep. She has a two-year molar dangerously close to erupting, and whether or not it's the tooth or development or some other shift I have yet to comprehend, it's exhausting.

While Anna may not sleep well when she's sick or when we travel, she has been sleeping through the night for a while and napping gloriously...long enough that I don't really remember feeling this tired in a long time. I'm fittingly walking around like a zombie this week before Halloween, thinking about all the things I would like to do, but mustering little energy to do much other than the requirements.

In bed this morning, after another less-than-restful night, I couldn't help but be reminded of life with a newborn. The word zombie came to mind. Blake and I have been talking a lot about a second child without any decisiveness on timing. As we struggled to open our eyes today, I asked Blake if he's ready for this (times 5). "No" was his definitive answer. I guess we need a little more time to work up the appropriate amount of amnesia.

Process

I know and really do believe "life is about the journey, not the destination," but it's just not in my nature to behave accordingly. I like the destination. I crave a finished product. I loathe unfinished business, unmade decisions, or uncertainty along the way. That is the true beauty of children in our lives - they are all about process, not product. They teach us how to enjoy the journey. Anna is, and I expect she will continue to be, one of my greatest teachers of life lessons like these. She unknowingly brought this to my mind over the course of three days spent creating gingerbread-pumpkin-cookies.

Day 1

Anna and I made the gingerbread dough. We had to bake three cookies, one for each of us for that day, but the rest of the dough went into the fridge to be rolled and cut out into pumpkin shapes the following day (we didn't have the time or the pumpkin cookie cutters to do this on day 1). Lesson learned: Focusing on the dough-making only allowed us unlimited time to lick spatulas and mixer paddles and really taste the good stuff.

She licked the paddle for a solid 15 minutes while I cleaned up.

I love how she has it all over her face (and shirt and hands).

Day 2

I had the pleasure of meeting with Anna's teacher and other moms at her "play school" on Saturday morning. We made these dishtowel aprons while enjoying tea, cookies, and conversation. This relates to the cookie-making because, of course, Anna couldn't wait to wear it for the next step. And, it was a very process-oriented activity for me. I didn't realize how much so until I came home to finish the apron with Anna. I had hand-stitched most of it at the school. I felt focused, present, and necessarily patient; it takes time. Anna and I machine-sewed the pockets at home in the interest of time. While the process was still enjoyable, especially with Anna, it was a wholly different experience - fast and a bit less focused.

As soon as the apron was done, she put it on and we rolled out the dough, cut the cookies, and baked. Lesson remembered: It's more important to give her independence than to worry about whether we have any cookies that "turn out." She was so proud as she rolled and cut and placed the cookie gently on the cookie sheet, all by herself.

Anna's apron.

Rolling...

...and cutting. She seriously did this entirely on her own.

Why we need a dog.

Day 3

We decorated the pumpkins this morning. Today might have been my favorite. While Anna worked independently throughout the project (moreso than ever before), I really enjoyed sitting back and watching her frost without (too much) intervention. Drawing from the previous-day's lesson, I did not intervene when 1/4 cup of frosting piled onto one cookie. Lesson learned: Don't plan on giving toddler-decorated cookies away to anyone other than another frosting-loving toddler.

Here comes the frosting.

Yes, we made blue pumpkins. Mixing blue and yellow to make green with natural food colorings just doesn't work.

Can you find the hidden chocolate chips? The frosting on the counter was her "stash" for snacking.

Halloween Spoiler

Halloween discussions began a few weeks ago. Remember pumpkins? Remember dressing up like a doggie last year? When asked what she might want to be this year, Anna was quick to reply, "A Jake doggie first and then a Journey doggie first (she means next)."

So, I began searching for another dog costume, one that might resemble a yellow Lab or a tan Greyhound. I didn't find what I was looking for, but I did find some cute costumes. I decided to show Anna a few, hoping she might desire something "found." Ironically, she fell in love with a spider costume. It's ironic, because she very clearly states, "I don't like spiders." Of all the animals to watch on National Geographic's website, she chooses to watch the giraffes and the tarantulas over and over again. And, every time she sees the tarantulas, she affirms her dislike for the creatures.

I was necessarily a bit nervous about going forward with a spider costume. After she decided she wanted it, I held off on buying it for a few days, asking her at random what she wanted to be for Halloween. She held her ground. So, I ordered the costume.

It came last night while we were eating dinner. The much-loved UPS man dropped it at the garage door, and as soon as I mentioned that it might be her costume, her focus shifted from eating to opening the box. I can't possibly describe her excitement when we unveiled the spider. She would have jumped up and down if she could jump. Her little voice repeated "I'm so excited," and "It's a really cute spider, and I love it," and "This is pretty special," over and over again. You know we had to put the costume on immediately. And, when the costume went on, she didn't want to take it off, not for bath time or bed time. When she woke this morning, we had to put it on again.

I hope she doesn't tire of wearing of eight legs by October 31st. I expect she'll be dressing up every day until then.

The pictures don't do her reactions justice. She wasn't thrilled to be posing for photos...the spider wanted to jump on the couch and look at herself in the mirror.

Isn't she the cutest little spider ever?!

Jake

Every Monday afternoon we visit Jake, the gentle, sweet yellow labrador that "works" at Dogma Catmantoo in Ann Arbor. Anna fell in love with Jake the first time she laid eyes on him. I wish I could remember when that was. We've been visiting Jake regularly since last spring maybe, and we stopped in occasionally before that.

Now we're "regulars." Jake and his mom are so welcoming to us and tolerant, of course. Given that we don't have a pet of our own, we don't often make a purchase (although Mo D's dog, Riley, received a few special treats from Dogma). Jake certainly doesn't seem to mind that we just come to visit him. See for yourself...

Anna and Jake donned matching Halloween "necklaces" today.

Coma (I was petting his belly just prior to this shot).

What a cute pair.

I love the way their both looking (at Jake's mommy, I think).

Just one more pet before we go!

One of these days, Anna is going to discover that she can ask her parents for a dog, and when that day comes, I'm not sure how we're going to say no (hopefully, someday, we'll be able to say yes)!

Sunday Reflection

Blake and I have been talking, on and off for months - maybe even years - about finding some kind of spiritual community that we can identify with. We would like to nurture and grow our spirituality, to learn more about spiritual principles, to spend more time in meditation and reflection, give more, interact more with nature. Since before Anna's birth, I've been searching, somewhat haphazardly, for a venue to connect with other spiritually-minded folks, one that also offers some form of spiritual education for children and adults. Blake, Anna, and I visited the First Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Ann Arbor this morning.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." I've heard this quote from Gandhi numerous times in my life. Nonetheless, it felt new to me after the sermon, which inspired me to really look at peace within myself and peace in our home as a starting point for peace in the world. Even if it's not a perfect fit, this kind of inspiration is welcomed and needed. While we're not positive the UU congregation will provide us with all that we are looking for, I felt generally uplifted by and grateful for the experience today, and I do look forward to going back again.

Tea Therapy

The good stuff.

Anna is sick again, and she's feeling pretty darn crappy right now. So, this afternoon we made "tea" together. I think the acts of making it and tasting it were equally enjoyable; she did perk up a little bit afterwards. We heated water in the tea pot on the stove, squeezed lemon in Anna's very own big-girl tea cup, stirred in the honey, and added a bit of Echinacea. She gulped down an entire cup and shared some of mine when she finished hers. Whether our tea is actually medicinal or not is irrelevant - it was most definitely therapeutic.

I love how she's holding the cup. (Nevermind the bedhead - she wouldn't let me near those curls today!)

Two big eyes.

Farther Park

Anna calls her favorite park "The Farther Park." She named it so, completely on her own, because I must have mentioned one time that it's farther from our house than the other park we frequent. I guess the cooler, wet weather and the change in our weekly routine have kept us away for a few weeks, maybe more than a month. Despite feeling under the weather, Anna's eyes lit up when I suggested that she, Mo D, and I venture to The Farther Park this morning. It was a glorious, warm, sunshine-y fall morning, so I took a few pics.

First stop...the roll-y slide. It's fast, especially when you're a Mommy or a Mo.

Ready, set...

Go! I think this will forever be one of my favorite photos of my mom.

A swing, of course.

Another favorite...the bouncy bridge.

And, finally the big slide.

Paaaa Paaaa!

We must have heard Anna exclaim, whisper, sing, and shout "Paaaaa Paaaaa!" a hundred times this weekend. We spent three days with Papa Mox at the river (Mo Mox was in Seattle with Mo J), and we took a day trip on Saturday to Uncle Kyle and Aunt Lisa's to celebrate Ellie's 5th birthday. All the while Anna was trying to (and usually succeeding in) getting Papa's attention. She thoroughly enjoyed our mini-vacation, relishing the time outside swinging, fishing, and feeding the birds with Papa. She discovered two treasures - a brightly colored "hula-hoop," which was actually an exercise contraption, and it, along with a rubber-y "worm" from Papa's fishing tackle box became her inside obsessions for the duration of our stay.

This was a mostly marvelous fall weekend. While the weather was a bit cool and rainy at times, the leaves were beginning to turn up north, and when the sky was blue, it felt like THAT kind of fall day that you'd be happy to have for the rest of the year. I took about one hundred photos - one for every time Anna exclaimed "Paaaa Paaaa!" apparently. I tried to narrow them down to a handful, but I didn't succeed. So, here is our weekend in pictures and captions...

Anna was so very excited to go fishing with Papa. This was Anna's first priority at the river.

Not sure what they were talking about, but I love their faces in this shot.

A snack break in the grass between casts.

How great is this? We had a snack break of our own by the river...a couple of cold beers, opened easily outside.

Swinging the club, because he didn't get enough golf watching the Ryder Cup all weekend!

This is one of many swinging photos. Anna loves swinging these days. Notice the worm she's holding - the poor thing was torn to pieces by the end of the weekend. Thanks for sacrificing one of your lures, Papa!

At Kyle and Lisa's on Saturday. Anna quickly became infatuated with Ellie and Josie's cousin, Dana. She followed her around all afternoon. I've never seen her quite so enamored!

Uncle Chris or Aunt Amy? I think Allison looks like both!

Just too cute.

The guys, beer, and a fire.

Blowing out the candles...Happy Birthday Ellie!

Back at Papa's, feeding the birds and the squirrels.

Dropping bread for the squirrels, and looking oh so sweet.

I love her little profile.

More swinging!

Thanks, Papa, Kyle, and Lisa for being such wonderful hosts/hostesses!